I’m looking out the 11th floor of my new home across a city of mountains sleeping in a comfy bed working for a great company. So many of my dreams have come true and yet today I question, what is next? What do I want and what type of life do I want to live?

The Hermit card in the tarot suggests that I am in a phase of introspection where I am drawing my attention inwards and looking for answers within. I are in need of a period of inner reflection, away from the current demands of my position. Yes I have been watching tarot card readings on YouTube, I find it helps me reflect on where I am and the decisions I am making while at a spiritual crossroads of my life.

I find it interesting when asking anyone how they are and to hear back “oh my god I’m so busy its crazy”. I like being busy too but not being busy for the sake of distraction. I want to feel productive in growth either on my own or in a team environment. I want to feel like I’m working towards something. Growth!

Judging yourself can be easy and toxic. Being in transition is okay. It’s allowed. Now wallowing in self pity is usually frowned upon. During tragic events its expected. But if things don’t change then it’s our own responsibility to make new choices. Some people will say “I have no choice” well that alone is a choice and thought pattern blocking you from moving forward. I’ve been there. I get it.

Money has been an excuse. My own thought processes, lifestyle, friends, colleagues, family and routines have all been excuses as well. Excuses excuses!

What do you want? Don’t know? Well then what makes you happy? This has been my biggest life question helping me rediscover my passion for life. Consider all the small things, they will lead you to your answers.

I like pancakes. I like mentoring youth. I like athletic clothing. I like taking photographs. I like deep conversations. I like living and working in community. I enjoy yoga, running and attending fitness classes. I enjoy interviewing and promoting people who inspire me! Make a list of what makes you happy. And do one of these things every day.

Surrounding yourself with people you lift you up! Energy vampires can suck the life out of us. Our human instinct is to attach ourselves to people, places and things. We are creatures of habit but we are also tribal. We thrive in tribe. So know it’s okay to let go of negative energies that are holding you back or bringing you down. Even a time-out or taking a break can be healthy.

So what am I worried about? Earning a better living. Obtaining financial independence. Creating something that is mine that I can help grow. Something I can call my own. Committing to myself has been one of my most challenges I’ve come to realize. It has affected my life and relationships. A life coach said recently that we love the way we want to be loved, but we attract the way we love ourselves. Try unpacking that statement! How we love ourselves. How do you love yourself? Do you love yourself? Separate from your ego, it’s more like how we treat ourselves. Similar to how we treat others but there is a difference. What types of food do you eat? How much exercise do you do? What type of play time do you enjoy? How much gratitude do you endure?

I’ve been learning a lot since I packed my bags two years ago, found an affordable way to re-locate to a city and country I wanted to live in. Took a chance before I had the money and resources to make sense of anything. I was stuck living in my own situation and had to make some bold new choices. Two years later I write this from the top of my castle looking out at heavenly views of my new life. And yet, there is still something unsettled within me. How can this be? I just came out of a new relationship, I changed where I lived again and the company I’m working for continues to grow in spades. I’m having to make new friends while being responsible for the wellbeing of our customers who also live across our various locations! You can’t help others until you help yourself. Be it family, friends or colleagues “ensure you place your oxygen mask on first before assisting others” in an emergency.

So what is the meaning behind this blog post? A reminder that it is okay to be at the crossroads. Internally or externally, we may feel differently and react differently to our life situations but try not to judge yourself too hard as each day we get to make new little choices that can change your life forever.

From the 11th floor of heaven, I share this message with you. Anything is possible.